So You Are Like…

By admin • September 25, 2009

EXT. ALLEY

Detective Smith and Detective Horn are standing over a dead body.

SMITH
Oh my god. This is horrible. Do we have any leads.

HORN
Right now, nothing. I don’t know how we are going to catch the guy who did this.

Gabrielle enters wearing a suit but sneakers.

GABRIEL
I think I can be of some assistance gentleman. I am a government agent who is a skilled crime fighter. I can just walk into a scene and know how did it.

HORN
I don’t know what you mean.

SMITH
I think he’s like that guy, The Mentalist.

GABRIEL
Sort of, but no. I am very different. I have a special ability to see things no one else can see.

HORN
Oh. Like the guy from Psyche.

GABRIEL
No. That guys is a fake psychic. I’m not some side show. I can just look at someone and know if they are telling me the truth.

SMITH
Like the guy from Lie To Me.

GABRIEL
No. I use people and clues to fine proof of who committed the crime.

SMITH
Like CSI?

GABRIEL
No.

HORN
Like CSI New York?

GABRIEL
No.

HORN
Like CSI Miami?

GABRIEL
No.

SMITH
Are you witty sometimes and confident in your abilities.

GABRIEL
Sometimes.

HORN
Like the dude from Castle.

GABRIEL
You’re not getting it. I get into the minds of the criminal and put all the pieces together to….

SMITH
So like Criminal Minds.

GABRIEL
No. I am not like any of those. I am a famous crime fighter. I have traveled all over the world. I have devoted my life to this after someone close to me was killed.

SMITH
So like Bones.

GABRIEL
Jesus. No. How are you not getting this? I am not like any of those shows. I can just look at a scene and follow the crime from point a to point be and calculate all the points in between.

HORN
So like the dorky guy from Numbers.

SMITH
Is that show still on the air?

HORN
Yeah. I was a little surprised too.

GABRIEL
No. I am not like that show or any other show. I am just hear to help you solve this crime with my own UNIQUE ability. Okay.

SMITH
Fine.

HORN
Fine.

GABRIEL
Great. Now tell me what you guys know.

SMITH
Sure. His name is Henry Smart. He works at the local grocery store.

GABRIEL
Wait. He’s not in the Navy.

SMITH
No. He’s a civilian.

GABRIEL
Oh, I’m from The Navy Crime Investigation Services.

HORN
What?