Ram On, Chowderhead
(based on suggested title from Michelle Laikowski)
EXT BOSTON STREET CORNER
NICKY is standing on the street corner. He is drinking a beer and wearing a Red Sox Jersey.
NICKY
Hey buddy. Nicky here. I wanna clear up something that’s been buggin’ me. Actually a couple of things. First off, we almost neva say Park The Car In Harvard Yard. How much parking do you think there is there. It’s frickin’ Harvard yard. It’s not about parkin’ chowderhead.
He chugs the rest of the bear and throws the glass in the river.
NICKY
Second. I’ve been hearin’a lot of people sayin’ that folks from around here are homeopathic. (looks off camera) What? Whatya talking about? Oh, homophobic. Listen, just because I say something or someone is wicked queer don’t meet I’m talking about the gays. Anything can be wicked queer. Queer means wierd. Not that gays are wierd. It’s just a term. It’s older then that slang. Check out what Paul Revere said on this plaque “The British are coming and that’s wicked queer.” He’s a founding father, I think. They weren’t homophobic. (looks off camera again) What? Oh, okay, so it appears that some of them may have been. But not Paul. He loves queers. I mean gays. He loves gays. I love gays. I mean, you not like… I’m just saying, do what you do. You know, all your rammin’ with the penises and such. I’m all for it. I say ram on Chowderheads. All right. Let’s get out of here. Where’d you park the car? Really? You really parked it there? Did you not hear the first part of this video. Now I look like an idiot.
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