A Long Cold Spell

By admin • September 29, 2009

INT. TV STUDIO

ROSANNA and GREG are reporting on the news. MIKE is waiting to go on.

GREG
Police say they can’t determine the victim’s identity with out the head. And now weather. Mike how’s it looking this weekend?

MIKE
Thanks Greg. The weekend is actually looking great. Look for it to be sunny with a high of 88, low of 75. But take a look at the 5 day and you can see we are headed into a cold spell. Temperatures drop down to 44 degrees.

GREG
Wow. That’s really cold. How long do you expect the cold spell to last.

MIKE
About 30,000 years.

GREG
Excuse me.

MIKE
Yeah, we checked the Doppler 3000 and the Weather Extreme 4000 and it looks like we are headed into a new Ice Age. Which starts this Monday. So like I was saying, if you look at the 5 day you can see that Monday should be partially sunny with a chance of glaciers. By Wednesday we see the temperatures drop severely and the ocean will begin to freeze.

GREG
Would you recommend people stay inside?

MIKE
Yes. If possible you should build an elaborate series of underground tunnels as life on the surface will become virtually uninhabitable.

ROSANNA
Why didn’t we hear about this sooner?

MIKE
Ice Ages can be tricky. For a while we thought it might have been El Nino or a programming error, but weather prediction isn’t always an exact science.

GREG
So is there any chance we can avoid this Ice Age?

MIKE
Unfortunately not. The approaching glaciers have already entirely taken over Canada.

ROSANNA
Why didn’t we hear about that?

MIKE
Because it’s Canada. For them it just means more ice hockey.

ROSANNA
ewwwww.

MIKE
So enjoy the weekend as it may be your last. And now Ines with traffic.